Being Human is NOT cute.

Let’s get direct, right in the beginning of this post.

Being human is not cute.

What do I mean by that? Simply what it says. It’s a get out of jail free card. When someone does something wrong or says something horrible and ridiculous, the next line that follows is usually, “Hey, I’m only human.” If you’re the one making excuses for everyone else’s faults, the line is, “We’re all human.” “No one is perfect.” And here’s my favorite for the saints who blog…“We all fall short of the glory of God!”

True, true and true. But it’s an excuse. Being human doesn’t give you the right not to strive to become something more. It doesn’t give you the right to be a horrible individual without 1st looking at yourself to see where you can improve to be better.

There’s 2 categories of people I want to call out here for obvious reasons. Way Makers and Nay Sayers.

Way Makers are the type of people who strive for perfection. They make a way out of no way and don’t let their human weaknesses keep them from achieving a greater goal. No’s are challenges to them, and they eat it up for breakfast. It’s like they go out hunting for No’s just to turn it into a Yes! Nothing can stop this person if they have their heart and mind-set on a goal. Not a job, not a family member or friend, not a penny in the bank, nothing. They’re resourceful, frugal, DIY, dreamers, movers and shakers. If a door they want to enter is closed, they bust it down!

Those people get somewhere if not everywhere in life. Those people see an impossible opportunity and get excited at the thought of taking it on. Other people can’t understand how they work, how they manage, how they’re so talented, how…how…how. And because they’re so often misunderstood, they’re treated like a unicorn surrounded by greedy, nasty, vile gremlins trying to get what they have, but have done none of the work.

Hence why most of the Way Makers you know or have heard of move alone or in a very tight circle of trusted associates. If you’re not a part of the process, you’re part of the problem.

That’s when we get to our favorite and most robust group of people…

Nay Sayers. Beware of the Nay Sayer for they say no to things. No to your things, no to your ideas, no to your dreams, no to your goals, no to your life and no to your progress. These Nay Sayers come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, colors, genders and relations.

Believe it or not, the biggest Nay Sayers will be those closest to you. Family and friends alike. They’re quick to judge you, to remind you of who you were, remind you of where you’re from. They’ll project their own fears and ideas onto you because that’s all they know how to do. If they knew how to be anything else, they’d be a Way Maker. Get me?

Either you do or you don’t. Either you is or you aint. You’re either a Way Maker or a Nay Sayer.

Nay Sayers will feel like they have your best interest at heart. They more oftentimes don’t even realize that the vile spewing from their mouths has discouraged you from even putting pen to pad to work out the idea 1st before they’ve already killed your dream.

Tip: Don’t share your ideas with anyone unless you’re working with them.

Nay Sayers also have a nasty habit of thinking they know everything, yet they know no things at all. How can they? They’ve never even tried. And if they did try to be a Way Maker, at some point they found it too difficult because failure hurt their pride and ego. Ohhhh boo hoo. (No tissues for you friend. Suck it up)

Failure is my BEST FRIEND! I absolutely LOVE failure. It helps me to grow. It shows me the faults and cracks I must fill for next time. Failure means I TRIED. And when you try, you learn things you never knew before. You may not need the information right now but somewhere down the line, it WILL come in useful. Trust me.

The Nay Sayer gave up. Failure was too much and what made them feel better about failing? Saying these lines…

“I’m only human,” “None of us are perfect,” “We all fall short of the glory of God”.

So that just gives you the right to stay content with not trying to be a Way Maker? Without striving for success? Perfection? Even those of us (not me) who don’t believe in Jesus say, “Only Jesus was perfect.”

And whether you believe the bible or not, I know you’ve heard that Jesus is the way, the truth and the light.

Jesus was a WAY MAKER. He walked in his truth and he lit the way for the rest of us so that we can be more like him. He lit the WAY so that we may be WAY MAKERS like him. Perfect like him. Even though our humanity keeps us from being so, we still have to try.

Our humanity isn’t a choice, but it’s nothing to settle for. Being human isn’t cute. Settling for the basics in life isn’t cute. Not contributing to society and your communities isn’t cute. Going to work and then going home to do nothing else isn’t cute. You may try to look cute, you may try to act cute, but when your humanity is all you have going for yourself, cute just doesn’t cut it.

Be a Way Maker.

Tips:

  • Brunch – You like going to brunch? Go. Then figure out how to host one.
  • Bars – You like going to bars? Go. Then figure out how to own one.
  • Beauty – You like hair and makeup?  Go. But learn how to do it yourself so that you can find a WAY to teach others.
  • Reading – You like to read? Read. Then figure out how to write a book.
  • Food – You like to eat? Eat. Then figure out how to make it. Once you do that, figure out how to share that skill with others or open your own catering business.

MAKE A WAY. If not, you’ll just be another human taking up space and enjoying the products of WAY MAKERS.

~ Toi Powell
Author

Merry-Go-Round and Round

I started to write this post about something else that was inspired by a merry-go-round until I experienced yet, another situation which also fits this round and round scenario.

A merry-go-round is an entertainment device that has lots of moving parts, lights, music and people just enjoying the time of their lives. It’s an apparatus of distractions. If you’ve ever been on one, you’d understand the concept of being spun around in a circle going up and down on a horse or what have you, laughing ever so gleefully but until you get off, all you’ll ever see is the same scenery with the same people listening to the same loud music on the same white horse.

As a spectator, from the outside looking in, it seems like fun until you realize, they’re all on a machine that’s taking them in a circle over and over again. What’s so fun about that? It’s not going anywhere, it’s not taking them from point A to point B. If anything, it’s dropping them right back off where they first began.

But you can’t tell that to the people having fun. They don’t see it from that perspective, at all. And the moment you try to tell them about this circle of distractions, they bite your head off because they LOVE this merry-go-round. They always have. They’ll also remind you, that you too used to love this merry-go-round as a child. You used to ride it together.

“Yeah”, you say, “But there are other thrills, other rides, other amazing things other than this same merry-go-round that takes you in a circle over and over again.”

It gets frustrating when you see your friends and family going around in the same circle over and over again. You’ve tried to interject and say, “Hey, there are other thrills, other rides in life…” You’ve tried to point over to the horizon to show them something else greater or even just to show them the merry-go-round itself. But they won’t listen. You are the odd man out.

People keep making the same mistakes, with the same people, using the same distractions on the same horse that takes them up and down and nowhere at all.

When you love them so much, it’s painful to watch. When you love them so much, you passionately want them to see the horse, see the same people hearing the same music. You want them to see the circle. But they still can’t. It hurts.

At this point, you have to make the decision. Do you want to stay standing outside of this circle, pointing to something greater hoping and praying they’ll see, eventually? Or, will you turn away with a broken heart and march on towards something great, alone?

The invitation to join you is always open, you can love them tremendously from your next adventure, still praying that their merry-go-round stops. Opening your arms to welcome them when they do, but you must still move forward.

Sometimes our love for people will drag us back onto that merry-go-round with them because we want to see them happy, all the while we’re miserable because we know better.

Don’t get dragged back into something you know you’ve grown out of for the sake of someone else’s happiness.

If they reject you, yes it will hurt. If they attack you, it will hurt even more, but the mend is on the way to the next thing where you’ll find others who’ve stepped off of the merry-go-round and are willing to enjoy this next adventure with you!

I pray this makes sense to you and gives you guidance in whichever area of your life this applies. I know as I write this under the guidance of the divine, I have answered my own struggle. I too shall apply this with you.

Like I said in a previous post, as I learn, you will too. Spiritual growth isn’t easy. Growing pains are real. But when you go through anything with anyone else who can relate, it makes the journey that much more tolerable.

I pray I helped someone other than myself today. Amen.

~ Toi Powell

Dig deep – Hidden Pain

Have you ever had a splinter? Doesn’t that joint hurt like a …? And it’s so amazing and frustrating at how easy it was to get in there but once you’re ready to take it out, you have to go through so much work? It feels like an impossible task. Sometimes the splinter is in a place we don’t think we can access on our own, but it’s much more painful having someone else do it than to do it ourselves.

Removing splinters is so time-consuming. It takes precision and patience. Sometimes it takes forever, but if you really want it out, you’ll put forth the effort. If you can see it and it’s close to the surface, you have a better chance at getting it out much easier and faster. But what about those that are so far beneath the surface, you literally have to dig deep to find and remove it?

That’s what I think of when I think of pain. Pain is like a splinter. It’s literally a pain in the behind, toe, finger, leg or wherever your splinter is, but let’s associate this splinter with the pain of the heart.

There are so many things we keep deep down inside of us. We know it’s there, we can see it, we can feel it, but it takes too much work to release it. Why is that? Because we have to pull back so many outer layers of skin to get to the source/root of the problem. So many of us aren’t willing to take the time to unpack our pain. So, we leave it there to fester and fester and fester and fester until it gets to a point where we can no longer walk, run, breathe, live. The pain is so strong it interrupts our lives when we least expect it.

Have you ever gone off on someone and was surprised at your own reaction? Was it really that serious? Did they deserve the name calling? Did they deserve the sharp tongue? Did they deserve…any of it? You’re holding on to something you need to let go.

Are you reacting to someone the way you react to everyone when they say a “trigger word”? Guess what boo boo? The trigger is not the word. The trigger is you.

You are holding onto something you need to let go of. The dictionary is full of words and no one is going to sit there and figure out what triggers you or not. If you don’t even have the patience to address your own pain, what makes you think others will? They’d quicker leave you alone so you can figure out your own problems than to figure them out for you unless you’re paying them to.

In order to release yourself from this pain, you need to take the time to unpack it.

  • Why did I go off on so and so?
  • What did they say to make me feel that way?
  • Why do I feel that way?
  • Who did what to me in the past to make me feel this way?
  • What did I do to fix it? Did I address it, or did I just ignore it?
  • Now that I know what it was that hurt me, how do I move on from it?

These are the layers of skin you need to pull back to get to the splinter, the root, the source. When you find the source, you have a few steps you can take.

  • Address this issue with the person who hurt you.
  • Forgive them with all of your heart.
  • Forgive yourself for holding onto it.

It’s important to note the space you’re in when you do address the issues with the people who hurt you. If you take that route, you need to be in a space of true transparency and with the effort of moving forward, past this in love and light.

You can’t call up your old best friend or baby momma or baby daddy cussin them out and blaming them for everything in the world that happened to you since they did what they did.

You simply explain to them…

“I’ve been holding onto something that happened between us in the past and it hurt me badly. This is not a call to confront or blame you for anything. I just want to make amends and say I forgive you for whatever I feel you’ve done to me and I hope you can forgive me for holding onto it all of this time.”

It doesn’t matter if you’re friends anymore or not. What matters is that you’ve addressed it, and you want to move forward without it weighing on your heart and spirit from now on. If they accept it, great! If they don’t, you’ve said your peace and you can still move on.

Trust me, it works. I’ve done it myself and you can literally feel the weight melt right off of you. Next!

Now that you’ve gotten that terrible splinter out, you can walk freely. You won’t be “triggered” by words or phrases since you’ve located the source and have moved on from it. Now you’ll be able to live a healthier lifestyle with friends who don’t think you’re crazy because your eye starts twitching everytime someone mentions xyz.

That’s just the beginning of a journey of self-healing. It can probably save you some coint since you won’t need a psychotherapist to unpack it for you, making you relive every horrible moment of your childhood just to get to age 26 when Jack told you to walk home instead of picking you up. Remember, I said, sometimes its more painful having someone else do it than to do it ourselves? #Message.

A lot of self-healing you can do on your own. You just have to know where to start. Start with you. Not everyone else.

~ Toi Powell

Let me grow or let me go

Growing is something we all must do at some point in our lives but, it’s important to know that growth is different for everyone. Some people grow faster and some slower than others but growing is still an important part of life.

Physical growth, of course, is visible to the naked eye. Maybe a child gets taller, someone grows stronger, someone grows bigger and some grow smaller. It’s easier to accept what we can see but what about the things we can’t see. For instance:

  • Emotional
  • Mental
  • Spiritual

These are all areas that you or someone you know has to work on for themselves.

We all carry emotional baggage and we tend to think sometimes that we’ve let it go, but seriously. Did we really? If you still feel the heat of anger rising up in your chest when you think about what so and so did to you and what you wish you would’ve said and done, guess what? You’re still holding on to it. Let it go.

Mentally, when your perspective and knowledge increases, you’re the 1st to know and everyone else is the last to find out. No one likes to be the last to find out anything, so it makes sense to experience some pushback there.

Spiritually – woah! When you become more aligned with God, you change. You become a new you. This can be scary because you find yourself at the crossroads between old and new and you have others trying to pull you back when God is trying to move you forward. It’s a tug of war but only you know what’s best for you. You already know what lies back there but only God knows what lies ahead. Don’t you want the answers to everything you’ve been asking for? Don’t you finally want that business to take off? That special career you’ve been longing for? Behind you is your past and although it prepared you for what lies ahead, it’s time to put your skills to the test and walk in your purpose.

When you begin to “go with the flow” of where God is guiding you, others who “knew” you are so quick to remind you of who you used to be. They throw things at you that make you question yourself based on your old self. But growth, especially spiritual growth is a process. Say it with me… a process!

How others grow is and will be completely different from how you grow. You have your own talents, skills, thoughts, drives, and ways you’d like to share this with others. Just because you don’t grow like them and vice versa doesn’t mean growth isn’t happening. It just means perhaps keep your distance for a while until you are steady enough in your course and have faith that God has seen something special in you and he wants to work with you in wonderful ways.

While you may have looked like a strong tree prior to your transformation…

Photography: Toi Powell

The transition into the new you can look, not so strong…

Photography: Toi Powell

But when you’re allowed to grow in peace and able to spread your roots,  where an old tree last stood, sprouts something beautiful and new.

Photography: Toi Powell

You may not look like the old tree but you’re growing and that’s all that matters. It may take months, it may take years but if you find someone constantly reminding you of who you “were” simply tell them… Let me grow, or let me go.

If they truly love you, they’ll be amazed at the person you’ve grown to be.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. 

2 Corinthians 5:17-21  (NKJV)

~ Toi Powell

Preview the Music!

Preview the Music!

Surprise! We have music for Blood of a Queen! So freaking excited for this! I get to combine my love for music and writing into this very unique reading experience and I can’t wait to share it with you all! After spending hours of songwriting, recording, producing and mastering we finally have a finished product!

Why is it So Important to Have Music to Blood of a Queen ?
Music, the magical combination of sounds, harmonic voices, instruments and emotions– is the invisible force that connects the listener to a specific experience, usually one that the writer wants to induce.

We’ve cried, laughed, been afraid and even sat on the edge of our seats in suspense while watching a movie unaware that it is the music that is drawing us in even more. Sometimes the music alone can affect you in ways the dialogue and scenery can’t.

That’s the magic of music. Without it, our experience becomes 1 dimensional. But not anymore. Experience my novel Blood of a Queen like you’ve never experienced a book in your life.

Tweet: #ToiPowell #Author of #BloodofaQueen http://ctt.ec/TEUXR+ previewed her music 4 her #debut #novel and we LOVE it! http://bit.ly/2aHHjgb

How Will Music Work For Our Book?
Just like how a movie soundtrack supports scenes in a movie by describing a current mood or emotion, our music will do the same by enhancing the mood of the book. Placing you in a similar emotional experience as our protagonist, Ruby.

As our characters experience love, heartbreak, betrayal or courage we want the  music to add another layer to the readers experience. See the book like a movie, flow  with the story and be taken deeper.

For additional reading: Check out this article, written by Megan Leigh, on The Importance of a Good Soundtrack 

Launch Buddy, by clicking below, you will be among the 1st to experience the music behind the book!

Click the audio link below to preview our song, Blood of a Queen!

Written by LaToya (Toi) Powell, The TOI House
Co-written by James Aaron Foster.
Performed by LaToya (Toi) Powell
Produced and recorded by James “A-Natural” Foster for Natural City Music. Mixed and mastered by Stefon Moeselle for Secret Sounds Productions

Available at the following locations: on 8/7/16

iTunes, Apple Music, Google Play,
Amazon mp3, Tidal

Don’t forget to share the journey with your friends and family by clicking on the share buttons!

EBOOK NOW AVAILABLE FOR PRE-ORDER ON AMAZON!

Cover_Design_v4

Share your thoughts and feedback in our Secret Book Launch Community!

RSVP FOR OUR BOOK LAUNCH EVENT

SAVE THE DATE: Saturday, August 13, 2016, 5pm
VENUE: Katra Lounge, NYC

SAVE THE DATE - Book Launch - FIVERR

Take On Innovation and enjoy!

~ Toi

I’m back with a sneak peek! SBLJ: Ep 4

I’m back with a sneak peek! SBLJ: Ep 4

Social Book Launch Journey: Episode 4

**Count how many times I drank wine in my video, leave it in the comments to be entered into the sweepstakes to win a free signed copy of the book and an invite to the Book Launch Party in NYC July 2016!!**

Hey everyone! Welcome to episode 4 of our Social Book Launch Journey! In this episode, not only do I update you on our book launch progress, but I FINALLY give you a sneak peak to our Book’s plot. Read below and don’t forget to check out the links I mentioned in my video and make sure you SIGN UP FOR OUR MAILING LIST for freebies, new videos and a chance to win a signed copy of the book and invite to the Launch Party in July 2016!

Make sure to watch the video all the way to the end to see Bonus footage of some of my most funniest moments while filming episode 4!

Take On Innovation and Enjoy,

Toi
Links below!

BOOK MAILING LIST: http://eepurl.com/by3VrP

UPWORKS.COM – Site to find Freelancers and for your projects.

SECRET BOOK LAUNCH FB GROUP:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/17108…
Website: http://thetoihouse.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/TheToiHouse
Instagram: ToiHouse & ToiStori
FB: http://www.twitter.com/TheToiHouse
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/Toicollection
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/toihouse/
GENRE: Literary Fiction / Contemporary Urban Fiction / African American Women’s Fiction
PLOT
A young woman’s new found independence takes her into the heart of a dangerous city in New York; a place her parents forbade her to return to. Ruby, beautiful, yet, sheltered and naive, unearths a web of deception, betrayal, love triangles and stumbles upon a family secret so deadly, she makes it her mission to prove the serious accusations against her family untrue.

A forbidden love interest emerges on her quest for truth and Ruby struggles between following her young heart, or remaining loyal to a long lost childhood friend who is the very one who recruited her help to solve a crime; a crime that would put their friendship in jeopardy.

With the help of her favorite cousin Sheila, the duo uncover hidden secrets from not only her past, but Sheila’s as well and re-sets the wheels in motion to overthrow a troubled, yet, powerful Kingpin upon her arrival.

Skinny Fox Detox Review & Social Book Launch Journey: Ep 3, Toi

Skinny Fox Detox Review & Social Book Launch Journey: Ep 3, Toi

Hey everyone! Welcome to episode 3 of our Social Book Launch Journey! In this episode, not only do I update you on our book launch progress, but I share my Skinny Fox Detox results with you! How exciting!

Check out the links below and make sure you SIGN UP FOR OUR MAILING LIST! This new reader experience has never been done before and you don’t want to miss out!

Make sure to watch the video all the way to the end to see Bonus footage of some of my most funniest moments while filming episode 3!

Take On Innovation and Enjoy,

Toi

Links below!

BOOK MAILING LIST: http://eepurl.com/by3VrP

SKINNY FOX DETOX: http://www.skinnyfoxdetox.com/

SECRET BOOK LAUNCH FB GROUP:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/17108…

YOGI TEA: https://www.yogiproducts.com/

Website: http://thetoihouse.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/TheToiHouse
Instagram: ToiHouse & ToiStori
FB: http://www.twitter.com/TheToiHouse
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/Toicollection
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/toihouse/

Social Book Launch Journey: Episode 2

Social Book Launch Journey: Episode 2

Hey loves! Welcome to episode 2 of our Social Book Launch Journey! In this episode, I talk about all of the fun and interesting things that happened this week for our book launch!

I share a few links with you guys in hopes that they will help you with your own projects, giving you resources that may take weeks to find online!

Make sure to watch the video all the way to the end to see some of my most funniest moments while filming episode 2!

Take On Innovation and Enjoy,

Toi
Links below!

BOOK MAILING LIST: http://eepurl.com/by3VrP

BUFFER.COM: https://buffer.com/ Social Media Platform to manage your multiple social media accounts

SECRET BOOK LAUNCH FB GROUP:
https://www.facebook.com/groups/17108…

BEST TIME TO POST ON SOCIAL MEDIA:
http://www.adweek.com/socialtimes/bes…

UPWORKS.COM: https://www.upwork.com/ Freelance resources

ASANA.COM – https://app.asana.com/ Project Management Platform
Website: http://thetoihouse.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/TheToiHouse
Instagram: ToiHouse & ToiStori
FB: http://www.twitter.com/TheToiHouse
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/Toicollection
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/toihouse/

Social Book Launch Journey: Episode 1

Social Book Launch Journey: Episode 1

Hey everyone! If you haven’t heard by now, I am launching my 1st book! Scary and amazing all rolled into 1. PLEASE SIGN UP FOR THE BOOK MAILING LIST BELOW…

Anyway, I have been working on my book launch since last summer– slowly but surely and now it’s time to kick things into high gear. We are on schedule for a June 2016 Book release and there is still so much to do!

The book has already been written…for 9 years to be exact but launching a book is a completely different monster in itself. I’ve researched the best ways to do this and I’m trying my hardest to accomplish these tasks as well as the unique tasks I’ve set up for myself.

I figured, there have to be other self- publishers out there, just like myself who are just as lost or maybe they’ve been there– done that. So, I wanted to document my journey in episodes, telling you what I’ve done, which tasks I’ve yet to tackle and how close we are to our book launch.

Doing this with you is me forcing myself to be held accountable by you…the viewer… the reader. And in doing so, I am pushing ahead to complete all of my tasks (which I will share with you) because I don’t want to make myself into a liar. I said I’m launching book, dangit….I’M LAUNCHING A BOOK!

If you want to be a part of this Book Launch Journey and email campaign I mention in the video, see the links below. And make sure you follow me, subscribe and comment too! I want to hear from you!

Til next time. Take On Innovation,

Toi

BOOK MAILING LIST: http://eepurl.com/by3VrP

Website: http://thetoihouse.com
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/TheToiHouse
Instagram: ToiHouse & ToiStori
FB: http://www.twitter.com/TheToiHouse
Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/Toicollection
Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/toihouse/

Motivation Monday – You…A Flicker of Existence

Motivation Monday – You…A Flicker of Existence

When you stop to think about how vast the universe is, how many planets, comets, asteroids and stars there are, remember your place within it.

You are but a grain of living energy sailing within a single galaxy, within a minute solar system drifting among millions, on a tiny infinitesimal planet, orbiting but 1 star, literally floating in the blackness of space.

You actually exist within a colossal body of glorious life which literally spins of its own accord with 8 sister planets in a harmonic dance that has lasted for millions of years.

And then, there’s you…you, who is only here but for a mere half of a blink, a flicker of existence. Living life, giving life and ultimately exploring it. Would you waste this miraculous moment, which is you, dispirited, tormented, dissatisfied and unmotivated to be anything but?

galaxy-facebook-cover-22

Your life is the most precious, most miraculous gift the star-dust of galaxies has ever formed, ever created. Live in your moment. Breathe your purpose. Explore your being and never waste it on anything less than the miracle that is you.

Overall, the endless vastness of space and all of the immaculate life it holds is so much bigger than any type of adversity you shall ever face.

Be encouraged and be motivated to make your moment, your time, your existence in this universe worth it.

~ Toi Powell

 

Sign up for my book mailing list here!

%d bloggers like this: